We Deserve it Too

It has been one year almost to the day since my last entry! I don't know where the time has gone nor would I like to think about it because I'm in a good-ish mood right now :)
For my comeback performance I won't wear a black, sequined bikini and walk about the stage in a daze...I'm going to talk about my home, my love, my country Bahrain.


As much as I am loving my life abroad, I do miss home. I'm sure most of us emigres do :). I did go back recently for about three weeks. Perfect weather, the same old people, new terrible drivers and projects popping up left right and centre. But one thing that did strike me as a tad odd was how pretty everything seemed. It was a bit confusing at first...lose ends had been tidied up, Adliyah had been revamped and little water fountains everywhere. Being me, I became a bit suspicious and began to think about the reasons behind this. Why was Bahrain prettied up? Then I remembered. I had descended upon my fair country during the week of the Formula 1 races. So all this extra effort, rushed road works, new and seemingly pointless tunnels on the way to Sakhir, pretty lights, carefully groomed mini-gardens was not a gift from the government to the people of Bahrain. Unfortunately, the hidden agenda here was not so sweet. These improvements were not for us, they were for the HUGE influx of foreigners Bahrain was about to experience before the races. So here is my question? Don't we deserve it? Are we not worth it? Do we not deserve the beauty that the government and municipalities have put so much work into to impress foreigners.

It is understandable and really a great thing to portray our country in the best light to the outside world. This, I understand, was another effort in that direction. I'm completely appreciative of this; my only problem would be that I am a bit jealous. I wish the government would care nearly as much about its people's opinions as they do about those of foreigners. Just something to think about. I hope you are all well and can't wait to hear from you :)

Bye for now,

Peluqa

Arab vs Arab

There is something that has come to my attention. Something I have noticed in the past, but was not too concerned about. Today, however, this frightens me quite a bit. It is the hatred we Arabs have for one another. When you live abroad, it is only natural to assume that people who share a common background will bond. However, this is not necessarily true and can be very untrue depending on where you are from. Not many people bring this up because it can make situation quite awkward, but it is there....lurking in the background. If an Arab from the Gulf meets an Arab from the northern countries or even North Africa,...there is a secret underlying hatred that stems from the economic superiority of Gulf Arabs. Although it is not always overtly expressed, it is there and sometimes expressed through innuendo. For example, I met a friend of mine for some coffee the other day. As I watched her pouring mounds and mounds of syrup into her black coffee I said, "Maybe you'd like to use some sweetener, it does the job and doesn't take much effort." She responded with, "Of course, you're from Bahrain, you know everything. What do we know, us poor Lebanese people." Although this was meant in good fun etc., it disturbed me. I don't feel superior to anyone, nor do I want people to hate me because of preconceived notions about the region from which I come. Having money does not make you better than anyone else as I'm sure many people say but don't believe. Having money to many people is equal to having success and fulfillment. Little do they know that with money comes much more struggle than you would have to put up with without it. Another thing is the fact that people from these countries, Shaam, North Africa etc...assume that the money is "ours" to be shared. This can be exemplified in Nasrallah's belief that Israel's destruction of Lebanon is irrelevant to his mission as there is "piles of money" in the Gulf just waiting to be used to rebuild Lebanon. However, before the discovery of petroleum in the Gulf, Gulf Arab labourers were looked down upon and segregated against. To this day, these people in the Shaam believe they are culturally and socially superior to Gulf Arabs and are just nice to them because they need their money. But when money is not involved, their hatred surfaces and it scares me. They repeat that these Arabs did not work for their money...they were simply sitting on Petrol...and the money which they make from the sale of this natural resource should be shared.
First of all, let me say I don't have anything against anyone based upon where they are from. I do, however, have something against certain attitudes that people adopt. Specially the non-GCC attitude towards Gulf Arabs. When it comes to the issue of wealth and petrol, I say finders keepers...and sharing the wealth is an option, one that Non-GCC Arabs should be greatfull for. When the Gulf was dominated by poverty, we did not see any help from these countries and therefore, now that the table has turned it is wonderful to see that Gulf Arabs have not held a grudge. However, Non-GCC Arabs see their superiority compromised by the wealth in the Gulf and therefore have adopted an attitude to help them cope with their "downfall". Let me reiterate, money does not automatically mean superiority. But at the same time, it seems that these people hate us for just this reason. It is very confusing to me.

Stepping Out

I thought it was high time to write another entry to this blog. This time, however, I will try to discuss a matter that is prevalent in all societies and all human relationships. I call it "stepping out". Have you ever noticed that at times dealing with the people in your life gets really tiresome and can even serve to drain you emotionally. It is usually a situation that is quite difficult to deal with. For me, it has always been about tackling the problem head on, surging forward and living life as I have always lived it. It may mean that there are several confrontations to deal with as well as snags in your relationships, but I have always preferred dealing with problems rather than ignoring them. However, today I have come to the realization that things can be quite different if you want them to be.

From now on, I aim to use a technique that is designed to bring me the inner peace I have been craving for so long. This social technique, "stepping out", is quite simple. No longer do you have to put yourself in awkward situations where pretending things are normal gets very difficult to do. From now on, you can just step out when you feel as though you've had too much. I promise it is quite liberating. As a novice, I don't have much experience to boast about, but I can say that all the pent up heaviness seems to melt away after you have completed this successfully. As this is beginning to sound very vague and philosophical, allow me to provide you with a vignette. For quite some time, there has been this person in my life who has presented a constant, never-ending challenge. I just can't win. And even if I did win, they would never acknowledge it as they are so wrapped up in their own world, a very self-centered egotistical place. So, what is the point of fighting a battle you know you'll never be able to win? None...there is no point. Therefore, I have chosen to back off...I won't step into the murky waters, I will back off. This way, I become a keen observer rather than a competitor, the opposition. I am no longer the enemy, but the audience. And what happens to competition when the enemy has withdrawn? The natural assumption would be that it would end. However, when it comes to those whose self-esteem and insecurities are so over-powering, the battle continues...alone, in the dark. And what better way to free oneself than escaping the dark? I can not think of a better one. You see, by stepping out, withdrawing, escaping, I can finally be free.

Of course, this does not mean that this person is no longer a part of my life, they always will be; it simply means that I have acknowledged the fact that, since I am aware of this predicament, it would be easier for me to make the change than my competitor. This does not mean that I have lost, far from it. It means I have superseded the frivolity that has dominated my life thus far. It does not mean that I have won either, I am nothing more than a separate entity. This, as I see it, is the only way in which this relationship can survive. Now, I can grow as an individual, with or without physical separation. What could be more liberating?

Another example of this attitude can be applied to another relationship in my life, one of a supposed romantic nature. Firstly, let me assure you that I am no firm believer in love. I believe in attachment and fondness; suitable company. Love is merely distorted attraction, attachment and self obsession. You see, in my case, I don't miss the person as much as I miss the person I become when I am with them. It is the person you become when you are around certain people that you miss more than the actual person per se. This can be deemed as self-obsessive; however, it is not so much self-obsessive as it is a solution for loneliness and a quest for purpose. If you live for someone, the weak mind of human emotions assumes that you now have a purpose, a reason to live. What more can one ask for when the life-long quest for purpose is fulfilled? You no longer feel as though you have to face it alone. Of course, there is familial love, however, it pales in comparison to the love one gets from a stranger. When another human being loves you, not because they have to, but for your own sake, it boosts confidence beyond belief and makes you "worthy". Worthy of the affection that is being ladled all over you. But who is to say that another human being is the only thing that gives you a purpose and makes you worthy? I believe my accomplishments, my achievements and those who love me prove me worthy. However, if I had only my achievements and personal success to look back on, I assure you, I would feel empty.

Now, back to the subject at hand. This person is one who has been disappointed by my actions, one who believes I am no longer worthy of their trust, maybe even of their affection. How would you handle a situation of this sort. Very simply. Step out. After giving it time to settle, priorities, the value of the relationship and its plausible success become clear as crystal and only then can you move forward. If you continue to battle yourself, push forward without a goal in sight, you end up in pain. Therefore, time, an essential principal of this technique, serves to clarify what seems to have become muddled. Desperation and pursuit will get you no where if you are laboring towards an aimless goal.

Superficial? Who Knows...

Gucci, Gucci, Prada ya ya?

Today, I have chosen to write on the phenomenon that is the superficiality of the Arab. Those who may or may not have the means to practice what I call art of "showing off". Why does the average gulf Arab feel the need to prove him/herself via materialism? I don't think I will ever be able to understand this. This feature is one thing Arabs have in common with rich African Americans; the need to flaunt your wealth for all to see, using yourself and any form of everyday item as a billboard or testament to your wealth.

If you can't afford to buy something straight off the rack, out of the showroom etc, it doesn't mean buy it on loan, it doesn't mean buy it in installments...it means you CANT afford it, so DON'T buy it. I understand you may like something or feel the need to have it, but this must be a genuine love for whatever it is, not the fact that buying clothes from Dolce and Gabanna will make others envious and help to show others how perfect and wonderful you are because you can afford them. The people up there in their offices, the designers, merchandisers etc are laughing uncontrollably at this phenomenon, for without it, their industry would not exist. People are weak, superficial and downright silly, and because they tell you that wearing sunglasses the size of your toilet bowl is "in" you do it, they charge you shitloads for it...and you end up looking..."hip"..."trendy"...fucking stupid is more like it. The other day, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine.

She said, "I just have to have this bag!"...
and I said, "but that costs $3000"
"Yeah, I don't care, it was in vogue, and there's a picture of Lindsay Lohan carrying it in Hello"

At this point, all I could think was "How very sad you are darling, very sad indeed"....But if it weren't for people like her, designers would starve just like any other artist....

Now back to my main point; apart from the fact that people in general are sad and superficial, Arabs take it to a whole new level. For example, dressing themselves in clothes that are probably worth their entire salary, shipping their ferraris and bentleys abroad so that they can attarct attention and "flaunt it" and judging others on the basis of what they can and can't afford. Let me tell you this; most of my clothes are, in fact, designer. However, unlike my counterparts, I go for very subtle items, I do not want to be a walking advertising campaign..nor do I want to attract thieves...If I love it, it does what it needs to do and it happens to be designer, I'll buy it. Like most women, I do enjoy shopping, but that does not mean that I will limit myself to tacky billboards that some designers call clothes. A pair of my designer jeans literally fell apart in three months! I did not even wear it that often. I had to have the zipper replaced, and the back pocket reattached. How much did I pay for them? Almost $1000. I bought them because they looked good, not because they are designer, and like most people, I assume that designer means better quality. This is COMPLETELY UNTRUE...I have a pair of jeans from Gap that have lasted me three years and counting! SO basically, all the "designer" does is take the same pair of jeans made in manila, sew their label onto it, and raise the price by 100%....and being the stupid fucks that we are,....we go ahead and buy them...

Having a Fendi bag does not make you any better than the girl whose outfit happens to be from H&M and she happens to look better than you. Renting a car when you get to wherever your going would be the logical thing to do, so keep your ferraris at home...rent a volks wagen...I DARE YOU....But of course, the sad fact is that these people have more money than they know what to do with and have most probably not worked hard for it...so let the tragic "show" continue...

Here Fishy, Fishy, Fishy...

Bahrain Bay land probe suspended

By MOHAMMED AL A'ALI

MANAMA

A PROBE into unlicensed land reclamation at the King Faisal coastal area has been suspended after councillors failed to identify the type of violation or those behind it. Municipalities and Agriculture Affairs Minister Mansoor Bin Rajab refused to give the Manama Municipal Council the go-ahead to form an investigation committee into the matter, unless clear documents and evidence are presented.

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Hmm...well if this doesn't sound a tad fishy, I don't know what does. So, this cannot be classified as a violation. How does that make sense really? If they are reclaiming land without the license to do so, doesn't that by default mean a violation. Unless, I am misinterpreting what they mean by unlicensed :S. Those behind it? Well, you'd think since it they're burying the sea, it would kind of be hard to do that sneaking about when no one's looking. Does anyone else find this just ever so slightly...how am I to say....suspicious??

But....Its not all that bad for the fishing community in Bahrain....

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New BD500,000 harbour on way

By RASHA AL QAHTANI

MANAMA

FISHERMEN and seafarers in Barbar will soon have a new BD500,000 harbour, walkway and recreational area. The Northern Municipal Council will supervise the building of the harbour in co-ordination with a Bahrain-based contracting company, which will be chosen by the council, said councillor Abdulghani Abdulaziz Khalil Ibrahim.

He said residents in the area had been asking for a proper harbour so they could dock their boats safely and have better access to the sea.

"By building a harbour for residents, we will also prevent dangerous accidents from occurring to seafarers," said Mr Ibrahim.

"Fishermen now go to sea barefoot to reach their boats, but with all the dumping in the sea, there are a lot of sharp objects that can harm them.

"Our aim is to clean up that part of the sea for the fishermen and give them easier access to their boats and the sea.

The harbour will be extended into the sea and will be built in an L-shaped design, said Mr Ibrahim.

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Look what they get in exchange for losing a huge chunk of their livelihood! A new harbour!! ::Rolls Eyes:: ....seems like we're getting HARBOUR FEVER here in Bahrain....maybe they just realized what a harbour is and decided.."Hey, lets throw H-aR-B-oooors here, here and here!!"

Relationships and the Modern Arab Woman

Interesting choice of topic no? Well, we all know that the modern Arab woman suffers from a warped mentality. We want to be modern, yet we don't want to let go of traditional values, the values that save us from being cheap...or like any other living breathing female on God's green earth. As you can see, there is already a conflict here in the psyche of the Middle Eastern, more specifically the Gulf Arab female. We all know that dating is socially unacceptable. You, over there, woman in the cloak hiding out upstairs in cinabbon on a wonderfully delightful date, yes, I'm talking to you. So, how does one go about entering the dating scene, and more importantly finding a husband. We'll go through this process step by step, subcategory by subcategory.

1) Finding a Boyfriend:

There are many ways in which the Gulf woman goes about doing this.

a) Online: A very popular choice...through social networking sites, chat rooms etc

b)In Malls: You all know what I'm talking about. The men that walk around and give out their numbers...I've seen some of you take them!

c) Being followed: Yes, there are men desperate enough to follow you until you stop, and take their number, or tell them to fuck off.

d)Family and Friends: My friend knows a friend who knows a mother who knows a friend...yeah...those types ;)

e) Schools, Universities, Offices: the traditional I married my colleague classmate etc.

2) Dating:

Now, the process of dating is one of intricate complexities. There's the virtual chat date. The call date. Then, the physical date. Dinner with fine wines at a posh eatery. Hardy fucking har har...I don't think so. Think seedy little coffee shop in the middle of no where, think upstairs, think private rooms at disgusting diners. Yes, you do feel like a hooker on these dates, but that's the closest we can get to emotional fulfilment when we're constantly worried about what people will think or say about us. In fact this creates a LOT of barriers in relationships. You're boyfriend wants to take you somewhere nice for a date. I think NOT! Wanna go to the movies and cuddle! Yes, that's happening...Maybe at the 11:30 am show of "Flop of Flop" or "Journey of the Flop"! Is it worth it? I guess if that's what you're into...

3) Marriage:

The final step. Oh how much we yearn for it...specially due to the lack of personal freedom we enjoy....a husband means no one can tell you what to do anymore...save for him, if you end up with a jerk. See, there are two types of Gulf girls when it comes to this topic:

a) I designed my Wedding Dress in Primary: This category includes almost 90% of Gulf girls...These are the ones who see marriage and child-rearing as the ultimate goal in life, you know the Arab embodiment of the 50's housewife. When they talk...all you here is "Omigod, when I get married, my wedding ring, my wedding night, my husband, my twins"

b) Escape..Oops, I mean MARRIAGE, yes Marriage...:
The single girl, the confirmed bachelorette Arab style. Enjoys fun with friends and a night on the town much more than a baby bassinet (enter me). Replaces cleaning the kitchen...with cleaning her make up bag. Sleeping with a man with sleeping with a cuddly kitten and raising kids with buying bags and stilettos. She may sound like a superficial creature, but in essence she is the one true DIVA. She may however submit to marrying in exchange for freedom...from parental control...!

c) $$: My bank, I mean HUSBAND, is wonderful...his wallet is beautifullll.....drool :D


So you see its a complex philosophy which entails a complex code of behaviour and special etiquette...see you all at Cinnabon!

Whose Loss?

This is a matter I have wanted to discuss for quite a long time now. The French embassy in Bahrain is an inept disaster area. First of all, let me just be frank. These people do not want us anywhere near their countries; or at least that is what we are to understand from their barbaric and rather uncivilized visa application process. From their behavior, it can be concluded that they aim to make attaining a visa as difficult as it possibly can be in order to limit the number of rag head sand monkeys entering their wonderful and flawless countries. What we should do in response is to make it just as difficult for them to enter ours. Bahrain is too afraid of losing whatever interest people abroad have in this country to make it difficult to enter it. Of course if your from the third world, than its a completely different story...your interest is not nearly as highly valued.

First of all, people beginning to queue for visas at 3 and 4 am is not just illogical, it is cruel and unfair and shows utter disregard for this nation and its people. I’m very sure the French embassy in any other (non-arab/muslim) country would not have the gall to treat its citizens like they have chosen to treat us.

Second of all, I know several people who have gone to that dreaded embassy only to be turned down without a valid reason, or without one at all!!! If you choose to reject one's application, the least they can do is have the decency to give an explanation for this rejection. Otherwise, we are left to assume *as I currently believe* that the basis for these rejections is prejudice. Do the people of Bahrain mean so little that it is not even necessary to give them a reason or explain why you don't want them entering your "wonderful" countries.

Third of all, who is losing in this underhanded battle? The French and their EU counterparts of course. We are all very aware that Arab tourism, if you can call it that, makes up a large part of the income these countries make. Our investments, homes abroad and simply the money spent there on our visits. We are a gold mine to these people...and making it absolutely impossible for us to enter those countries means that they will lose a great deal of income!

I urge my fellow Bahrainis and GCC nationals, please invest your hard earned money in your own nations so that in the near future our countries will be forces to be reckoned with when it comes to tourism and leisure. They need our money far more than we need to spend time in their countries. I hope this will be enough to persuade you to be proud of who you are, if they choose not to accept that, then it is utterly their loss! What do they have that we don’t or can’t have...not much but the weather. So please, I beg of you, stay home this summer...spend your vacations touring neighboring Arab countries. It is clear that they don't want us...so why do we need them. We DONT...none of us do and we never have! So as long as they choose to continue this treatment we have been receiving, I will have no desire to spend a dime in or on their countries. To all those who have properties, what’s the use of owning a home in the EU if you can't get to it or are only allowed to get to it when they feel like giving you a visa. When they have the deciding hand on whether or not you get to spend time in a home that you've paid for. Our government chooses to give them residency permits for as long as they own property here...and what do they give us....rejections without reason or logic...you're better off selling your homes and using that money towards the development of our own countries.