Interesting choice of topic no? Well, we all know that the modern Arab woman suffers from a warped mentality. We want to be modern, yet we don't want to let go of traditional values, the values that save us from being cheap...or like any other living breathing female on God's green earth. As you can see, there is already a conflict here in the psyche of the Middle Eastern, more specifically the Gulf Arab female. We all know that dating is socially unacceptable. You, over there, woman in the cloak hiding out upstairs in cinabbon on a wonderfully delightful date, yes, I'm talking to you. So, how does one go about entering the dating scene, and more importantly finding a husband. We'll go through this process step by step, subcategory by subcategory.
1) Finding a Boyfriend:
There are many ways in which the Gulf woman goes about doing this.
a) Online: A very popular choice...through social networking sites, chat rooms etc
b)In Malls: You all know what I'm talking about. The men that walk around and give out their numbers...I've seen some of you take them!
c) Being followed: Yes, there are men desperate enough to follow you until you stop, and take their number, or tell them to fuck off.
d)Family and Friends: My friend knows a friend who knows a mother who knows a friend...yeah...those types ;)
e) Schools, Universities, Offices: the traditional I married my colleague classmate etc.
2) Dating:
Now, the process of dating is one of intricate complexities. There's the virtual chat date. The call date. Then, the physical date. Dinner with fine wines at a posh eatery. Hardy fucking har har...I don't think so. Think seedy little coffee shop in the middle of no where, think upstairs, think private rooms at disgusting diners. Yes, you do feel like a hooker on these dates, but that's the closest we can get to emotional fulfilment when we're constantly worried about what people will think or say about us. In fact this creates a LOT of barriers in relationships. You're boyfriend wants to take you somewhere nice for a date. I think NOT! Wanna go to the movies and cuddle! Yes, that's happening...Maybe at the 11:30 am show of "Flop of Flop" or "Journey of the Flop"! Is it worth it? I guess if that's what you're into...
3) Marriage:
The final step. Oh how much we yearn for it...specially due to the lack of personal freedom we enjoy....a husband means no one can tell you what to do anymore...save for him, if you end up with a jerk. See, there are two types of Gulf girls when it comes to this topic:
a) I designed my Wedding Dress in Primary: This category includes almost 90% of Gulf girls...These are the ones who see marriage and child-rearing as the ultimate goal in life, you know the Arab embodiment of the 50's housewife. When they talk...all you here is "Omigod, when I get married, my wedding ring, my wedding night, my husband, my twins"
b) Escape..Oops, I mean MARRIAGE, yes Marriage...:
The single girl, the confirmed bachelorette Arab style. Enjoys fun with friends and a night on the town much more than a baby bassinet (enter me). Replaces cleaning the kitchen...with cleaning her make up bag. Sleeping with a man with sleeping with a cuddly kitten and raising kids with buying bags and stilettos. She may sound like a superficial creature, but in essence she is the one true DIVA. She may however submit to marrying in exchange for freedom...from parental control...!
c) $$: My bank, I mean HUSBAND, is wonderful...his wallet is beautifullll.....drool :D
So you see its a complex philosophy which entails a complex code of behaviour and special etiquette...see you all at Cinnabon!
9 comments:
i didn't get the point of this entry, though i skimmed through it 3 times..
what's the main message?
Social Critique at its height...just a breakdown of something thats prevelant in our culture...the Bahraini dating scene...
lol, thats pretty funny, unfortunately true at times, and overall a good snapshot of the kind of crap women have to go through in this society
well said Ma'am :)
Thank you for taking time to do the break down on how it goes in wonderland for those new to the place. i'm going to be using your blog posting as a reference for folks new to the scene.
Thanks much!
Thank you all for your comments...keep them coming :)
Hey Bitch,
Bahrain has been slowly going through a cultural revolution, and a sort of women's movement is a great part of it. This has found some long-bearded obstacles (who's your elected MP??), but the youth movement has been gaining some momentum.
The next step is that it must be proudly brought out in the open. Enough hiding in dingy cafes and avoiding the public in cinemas. Bahraini men and women must stand proudly to their convictions, instead of being ashamed of them. We must stop seeking the approval of an older, conservative generation that is as constricting as it is concerned.
The long-bearded ideology has especially spawned hatred and hate-groups (against other countries, other cultures, other sects, internationally, regionally and locally). Instead of seeking their approval, we must instead demand their respect of our own choices. Just like them, we will undoubtedly make mistakes, but they will be our mistakes to make and learn from. Drop the leash.
No minister, no parliamentarian, no mother, no father has the right tell me or my sister what not to wear, where not to go, whom not see, and what not to do with them when we get there.
Although there is a lot of scum everywhere you go on this planet, some of us are actually self-respecting young Bahraini adults with our own set of values and ways of respectfully interacting with society.
I have my own values and moral beliefs, and I respect those of others (no matter how backwards-ass their views may be). I demand no less of them, for myself and for members of my generation. If we have lessons to learn, then let us learn them.
Mothers and fathers throughout the land,
Don't criticize what you don't understand.
Your sons and your daughters are beyond your command.
Your old road is rapidly fading.
So get out of the new one, if you can't lend your hand,
for the times, they are a-changin'
~Bob Dylan
Eba:
Yes, I do agree there is a change. But at the same time, it seems there is a change in the opposite direction as well...which frightens me to bits! The long-beards and their philosophies are mostly baseless and centered around their desire for control and wealth...
Lets just hope that those who are more liberal carry out their reforms successfully and halt the speedy approach of the long beards... :D
Vive La Revolution.... ;)
Randomly stumbled upon your site. I feel sad when I read stories like that...seems so unfair! Would you ever consider moving to another country in order to have more freedom?
I am dating n arab girl and she not allowed out or to have a bf. I pick her up after work just so we can be together for an hour then I have to take her home b4 her parents realise she is working much later than usual. I am canadian so apparently ill never be accepted by her family. If I wanna take her out I have to engage her if her parents accept. But we love eachother and 15 months later we are still at it. She still a virgin and if I not the on to pop that cherry after this long I gonna be pissed. I never cheated on her either because she so precious to me. I know tough days are ahead tho I can feel it in my stomach that it not gonna work because I see how important family is to her.
Post a Comment