Bahrain...My Theory

Islanders
A Sad Satire
**TO BE TAKEN LIGHT-HEARTEDLY WITH A SHOT OF VODKA AS MY DOCTOR ALWAYS SAYS...AT LEAST I THINK HE'S A DOCTOR...HE GIVEs ME NEEDLES**

Q: what is Bahrain? More importantly...what is a Bahraini...
A: There is no such thing as a Bahraini...

Q: Then, what do you call those people who live there.
A: Wow...its a long story...so let me begin

In Bahrain there are five groups of people, none who are "really" Bahraini.
IN ORDER OF SOCIO-POLITICAL IMPORTANCE

# 1: The Sunna or Arabs of Bahrain
These are a group of people who are from mainland Arabian Peninsula (Saudis) who came to Bahrain after a small detour in either Qatar or Kuwait. (The Royal family included)...these are considered to be "Pure" Arabs and therefore are superior. A select group of families who we all know who are guaranteed jobs and special treatment...though they are as hopeless and as big a waste of oxygen as the rest of us...

#2: The Huwala of Bahrain
Huwala haha funny name...yeah sounds like some creature from Pokemon or something...but rest assured...they are real...not real as in authentic, real as in they exist...they are as far from authentic as can be. Why you ask? Let me explain. These are Persians from Iran who came to Bahrain and changed from Shia to Sunna...who pretend to be "pure" Arabs from the Peninsula who went to Iran and then returned after living there for a long period of time. Unfortunately...what they want us to believe and what is true couldn't be as different as Paris Hilton and Mother Teresa's vaginas...They are not Arabs who immigrated then emigrated or vice versa...they are either Iranians from the SOUTH of Iran who have always been Sunna or they are Iranians who turned Sunna...
They pretend not to speak Persian though we know behind closed doors that they do. Mothers and Fathers of the new generations choose to solely speak Arabic in front of their children so as to rid their family tree of any traces of persianness...though this may be as futile and circumcising Haifa Wehbe. We all know who they are, they know who they are and our children will know who they are. + You get 10 Points for identifying them in Where's Waldo...thats always fun...they are a rather strange species of Bahraini and are equalled in complexes only by the Ajam of Bahrain.

#3: The Ajam of Bahrain:
The Ajam of Bahrain...also known as the 2nd runner's up for the title of UNDERDOG (that title belongs to the Baharna). These are the Iranians of Bahrain who admit that they are Iranian due to the fact that they are Shia'a and in order to practice their religion have to be open about where they are from or run the risk of being called the dreaded BAHARNA. They have their mosques, festivals, self-torture...of course these are all segregated from the mosques, festivals and self-torture of the Baharna despite the fact that they share the same religion. This species of Bahraini would rather die (be called iranian) than have people think that they may be Baharna! Yes, yes quite strange...They usually are open about speaking Iranian in a rather crass dialect reminiscent of Iranian villagers. They are what I would call the Blacks of Bahrain. No, not for their skin colour, but for their behaviour...for example.
Mother: My Dear Ghuloom, why the glum face?
Ghuloom: I didn't get the job...
Mother: Don't worry...one day we will have justice...one day a smart man will be given opportunities in this country despite the fact that he is Ijmy..
get the picture...its the whole " i was arrested cuz I'm black" neglecting the fact that he just sliced this woman's nipple off. The woman who lives outside my house and eats paper bags whilst barking naked in my garage makes more sense to me.
Yes, they pity themselves, are quite jealous and have dangerous eyes!! If you tell an Ijmy that you've got a new car...leave it in the garage..or better yet, have the engine taken out and preserved, and even then it might decide to self-destruct. All species of Bahraini are known to be quite envious...the whole islander thing...back biting, jealousy and making you feel that they are completely in love with you whilst laughing in their heads....its a fact...Bahraini's cant be happy for you if something good has come your way so its best not to tell them.

# 4: The Baharna:

As I said before, these are the true Underdogs in Bahrain. They are a mixture of Portuguese and Arabian Peninsula thus their features are quite exotic by Bahraini standards, they are Shi'a and typically believe that the world is against them. Yes, their kind is being suppressed and all and yes, they are detested because people stereotypically believe they are aggressive and dangerous. Some are arrested for no reason, discriminated against and yet unwilling to learn, or do jobs they feel are beneath them. A Bahrani will demand a desk job...what? He can't read and write? Tell him to go to school before he shows his face here again.
The Bahraini response: Its because I am Bahraini...they've come taken my country and leave me starving and unemployed..he will then proceed to the gas station where he will purchase a gallon of petrol and burn the office down...or better yet...a supermarket in the middle of Bahrana Country that caters to them?!?! Buying a perfectly beautiful gown and then ripping it into peices with my teeth is considered crazy...and this isn’t? Yes I know the effects of mixing drugs and alcohol and may have done it on purpose...but really i think it makes more sense than any of this. If I was Bahrani I would just take a job as a construction worker...no...pride comes first and so the fact that they feel that they are discriminated against makes them avoid learning because they feel it would be a pointless effort because they are going to be discriminated against anyway...too scared to take the plunge, they avoid school and then out of desperation demand a desk job and are rejected...thus perpetuating this vicious cycle. THERE ARENT ENOUGH DESK JOBS TO GO AROUND SPECIALLY FOR THE UNQUALIFIED AND WE HAVE FOREIGNERS DOING THE BLUE COLLAR WORK...SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE AND TAKE THEIR JOBS...UNEMPLOYMENT IN BAHRAIN IS A PROBLEM OF PRIDE NOT ECONOMICS....don’t be too hard on them, some of them do work at gas stations...but thats as low as they'd go...very Blacks in America thing going on here...

# 5: The "Expats" ( A species that will become extinct with Bahrainization...in 2007 was it? Yeah...yeah right!)

Class 1: European, American, Japanese, Chinese...hired to do jobs that Bahrain can't trust its own people to do and are paid triple. What?? John Smith was a farmer in England?...well who cares...he's British, he must know how to do anything 10x better than a local...and is treated accordingly...

Class 2: SubHumans
These are the people from India(s) as in all the countries that pretend to be insulted when you call them Indian and resent the fact that you would dare to call them that even though a name is the only thing that differentiates them, Philippines, Some Africans...
these are the people who are imported much like ketchup or anything really when it comes to Bahrain...oh no wait...NOT ALUMINUM!!! Lets pat ourselves on the back for that.... and in the same packaging...actually i think the cargo trucks and planes in which they transport ketchup are a bit fancier......imported to do the Jobs that "Bahraini's" are too proud to do themselves...house labourers, construction workers, shop assistants, janitors, they are paid in pistachio shells and are occasionally raped, beaten and abused...which is when they'll run to...their Embassies...its a common ritual much like mating and hippos....wait shouldn't they be running to shelters?...a shelter is too complex a device to be established in Bahrain...we do have ONE though,..its 2 years old....[Applause]

Class 3: (yes there is lower than SubHuman) Stress Relief
Yes, these are the holes in which Bahraini ( and many many many many many Saudis, Qataris and Emiraties) will put their appendages to release stress. They are then paid in used condoms. Don’t get me wrong, there are some "classy" ones...but those are usually locals willing to take it lying down rather than doing decent honest jobs that the SubHumans do. Yes, pride, but just the right amount which leaves their desire to sell sex intact. Thank God for this class...they may be the lowest of the low...but they, coupled with alcohol and cinemas, are our main tourist attraction. SO in this case its desk or bed, floor and table jobs.

World Aids Day

...keep it in your thoughts...
remember: use protection, educate the uneducated, avoid contact with contaminated blood and body fluids and help those who need it the most. AIDS has a human face, it isnt just a disease of deviants and the "sinful".

Easing of US Pressure...

In Bahrain, Democracy Activists Regret Easing of U.S. Pressure
By Faiza Saleh Ambah

Washington Post Foreign Service

Monday, November 27, 2006; Page A16
MANAMA, Bahrain, Nov. 26 -- Bahrain's government has touted parliamentary elections here as a model for regional reform and a milestone for democracy. But critics say the polls are similar to those in many Arab countries: designed to give the appearance of democracy while maintaining the government's tight grip on power.

continue reading article...

Bahrain Shiite Clout Limited

Bahrain Shiite clout limited despite win
MANAMA: Bahrain's majority Shiites won a political voice in the Sunni-ruled kingdom for the first time in Saturday's parliamentary elections, but they are far from being able to wield real political power in the Gulf state. The Shiite Al-Wefaq National Islamic Society, Bahrain's largest opposition group, won 16 of the 17 seats it contested in the 40-seat lower house. But Wefaq's leader Sheikh Ali Salman downplayed the prospects of real change, pointing to a state-appointed 40 member upper assembly, the Shura council, which along with King Hamad bin Isa Al-Khalifa, must approve all legislation. "In terms of changing the law and the constitution, room for manoeuvre is extremely limited. It's good that he's (Salman) accepted this," newspaper editor Mansoor Al-Jamri said.

kuwaittimes.net

Tell us something we don't know....

Aww!

Not our time!
By GEOFFREY BEW
WOMEN should not be surprised that they did not win any seats in Saturday's elections, an equal rights activist said yesterday.
The secretary of the French Socialist Party in charge of women's rights and parity, Laurence Rossignol, said it is still too soon into Bahrain's fledgling democracy.
She admits she was disappointed in the results of voting in the elections, but says Bahrain is still leading the way in the region in that it elected the first woman MP in the Gulf (Latifa Al Gaoud).
"I think it is very difficult because it is only the second election that women can vote in," she said.
"It is very difficult to get the right to vote and then to be elected in such a short time.
"If we look at all the countries it is the same thing."
Ms Rossignol says laws should be introduced to make it easier for women in Bahrain to succeed in elections.

Don't be too hard on yourself Ms. Rossignol...its doesn't really matter that women haven't been elected to parliament...its a joke anyway....i'm sure their input on whether the use of mannequins should be banned would be very interesting but we have enough members of parliament pretending to have a say in what goes on....fledgling democracy? try non-existent...in any case...im happy that we don't have a democracy here if its gonna be anything like Iran or Egypt's "Democracy"....all that happened there was removal of a monarch and his replacement with an elected representative of the people (there's laughing in my head) accompanied by a loss of class and dignity amongst the populous...I think Bahrain can do without that for now...

Pamela Anyone?

Why are celebrities so strange? And in any case, why do we even care about them...i know escapism, entertainment and all, but I'm more entertained watching the monkey, well that's what he makes me call him...i prefer dad, pee on my Persian carpet. Maybe I should film that and sell it to Hollywood, it sure cracks me up...not the part where i have to clean it...but before that. Anyway...Pamela is getting a divorce yet again! Not that i like Kid Rock in any way...its just...why would anyone marry Pamela...I know the tape makes her look like fun but it cant last...very obvious... only Paris Hilton would be stupid enough to miss this kind of conclusion...shouldn't she be dead yet...last I heard she had Hepatitis C...anyway between posing naked in Stella McCartney's Window and ironing her wrinkles with a kettle, she's filed divorce papers citing irreconcilable differences...

Israel...yet again

My primary avocation is activism against Israel...a preoccupation that has lasted a several years...here is a powerful presentation with relevant quotes used to propagate zionism which can now be used against them....not only is God a real-estate agent...he also sells hand bags and promised me one from the Jimmy Choo winter collection...unfortunately, after i grabbed it off the shelf and began to walk out the store, the security guard grabbed me by the arm...i told him GOD PROMISED IT TO ME...they didn't like that too much...neither did the guy who forced me into his car....the ride was worth it though...i love the flashing lights and siren...

Zionism Quotes

Why I Hate the Rich

Many say that the masses hate the rich because of circumstance, jealousy, spite all the regular reasons. Not often do those who are quick to point the finger at our weaknesses consider that the rich are often-times corrupt and unjust! It happened in the Philippines, it happened in the French Revolution...everyone gets their just desserts...

The following is a collection a la PDF of the wonderful riches of Bahrain not all of us get to enjoy...actually a collective few...let's just say its exclusive membership...so exclusive in fact that it depends on who got you here...lets just call it "Family Membership"...
I think you get the picture....

An Afternoon with Mahmood

Mahmood of Mahmood's Den has posted a very interesting clip from BBC Radio 5's Podcast which includes a little snippet of an interview with him concerning the ever-widening black hole that is Bahrain's battle with GoogleEarth...which I myself think is a wonderful piece of technology...and yes, using it to spy on nuclear scientists in Iran is a legitimate reason to love it...nuclear scientists or my ex lover and his mom...same shit...

anyway...for convenience's sake I have uploaded it to my main site...and posted a little link here

right click and save target as and enjoy!

Step One

SEX!

Now that I have your attention...
How am I to say? Maybe I'll begin with a little bit of an introduction. I'm Peluqa...or at least that's what you'll know me as. I will be your mistress through out this wonderful journey of discovery. Follow me through the wondrous twists and turns that I've come to call my life. Over the months I will be discussing a multitude of subjects ranging from bits and pieces about me...to more important things such as the philosophy of life and how the world has come to be the mess that it is...yes...i do have all the answers...For now though, I'll stick to smaller things such as politics, news, gossip and the like...you'll have to hang on for a while to discover the secrets of the universe...as I had them for dinner...

Take Care,

Mistress P