Superficial? Who Knows...

Gucci, Gucci, Prada ya ya?

Today, I have chosen to write on the phenomenon that is the superficiality of the Arab. Those who may or may not have the means to practice what I call art of "showing off". Why does the average gulf Arab feel the need to prove him/herself via materialism? I don't think I will ever be able to understand this. This feature is one thing Arabs have in common with rich African Americans; the need to flaunt your wealth for all to see, using yourself and any form of everyday item as a billboard or testament to your wealth.

If you can't afford to buy something straight off the rack, out of the showroom etc, it doesn't mean buy it on loan, it doesn't mean buy it in installments...it means you CANT afford it, so DON'T buy it. I understand you may like something or feel the need to have it, but this must be a genuine love for whatever it is, not the fact that buying clothes from Dolce and Gabanna will make others envious and help to show others how perfect and wonderful you are because you can afford them. The people up there in their offices, the designers, merchandisers etc are laughing uncontrollably at this phenomenon, for without it, their industry would not exist. People are weak, superficial and downright silly, and because they tell you that wearing sunglasses the size of your toilet bowl is "in" you do it, they charge you shitloads for it...and you end up looking..."hip"..."trendy"...fucking stupid is more like it. The other day, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine.

She said, "I just have to have this bag!"...
and I said, "but that costs $3000"
"Yeah, I don't care, it was in vogue, and there's a picture of Lindsay Lohan carrying it in Hello"

At this point, all I could think was "How very sad you are darling, very sad indeed"....But if it weren't for people like her, designers would starve just like any other artist....

Now back to my main point; apart from the fact that people in general are sad and superficial, Arabs take it to a whole new level. For example, dressing themselves in clothes that are probably worth their entire salary, shipping their ferraris and bentleys abroad so that they can attarct attention and "flaunt it" and judging others on the basis of what they can and can't afford. Let me tell you this; most of my clothes are, in fact, designer. However, unlike my counterparts, I go for very subtle items, I do not want to be a walking advertising campaign..nor do I want to attract thieves...If I love it, it does what it needs to do and it happens to be designer, I'll buy it. Like most women, I do enjoy shopping, but that does not mean that I will limit myself to tacky billboards that some designers call clothes. A pair of my designer jeans literally fell apart in three months! I did not even wear it that often. I had to have the zipper replaced, and the back pocket reattached. How much did I pay for them? Almost $1000. I bought them because they looked good, not because they are designer, and like most people, I assume that designer means better quality. This is COMPLETELY UNTRUE...I have a pair of jeans from Gap that have lasted me three years and counting! SO basically, all the "designer" does is take the same pair of jeans made in manila, sew their label onto it, and raise the price by 100%....and being the stupid fucks that we are,....we go ahead and buy them...

Having a Fendi bag does not make you any better than the girl whose outfit happens to be from H&M and she happens to look better than you. Renting a car when you get to wherever your going would be the logical thing to do, so keep your ferraris at home...rent a volks wagen...I DARE YOU....But of course, the sad fact is that these people have more money than they know what to do with and have most probably not worked hard for it...so let the tragic "show" continue...

Here Fishy, Fishy, Fishy...

Bahrain Bay land probe suspended

By MOHAMMED AL A'ALI

MANAMA

A PROBE into unlicensed land reclamation at the King Faisal coastal area has been suspended after councillors failed to identify the type of violation or those behind it. Municipalities and Agriculture Affairs Minister Mansoor Bin Rajab refused to give the Manama Municipal Council the go-ahead to form an investigation committee into the matter, unless clear documents and evidence are presented.

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Hmm...well if this doesn't sound a tad fishy, I don't know what does. So, this cannot be classified as a violation. How does that make sense really? If they are reclaiming land without the license to do so, doesn't that by default mean a violation. Unless, I am misinterpreting what they mean by unlicensed :S. Those behind it? Well, you'd think since it they're burying the sea, it would kind of be hard to do that sneaking about when no one's looking. Does anyone else find this just ever so slightly...how am I to say....suspicious??

But....Its not all that bad for the fishing community in Bahrain....

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New BD500,000 harbour on way

By RASHA AL QAHTANI

MANAMA

FISHERMEN and seafarers in Barbar will soon have a new BD500,000 harbour, walkway and recreational area. The Northern Municipal Council will supervise the building of the harbour in co-ordination with a Bahrain-based contracting company, which will be chosen by the council, said councillor Abdulghani Abdulaziz Khalil Ibrahim.

He said residents in the area had been asking for a proper harbour so they could dock their boats safely and have better access to the sea.

"By building a harbour for residents, we will also prevent dangerous accidents from occurring to seafarers," said Mr Ibrahim.

"Fishermen now go to sea barefoot to reach their boats, but with all the dumping in the sea, there are a lot of sharp objects that can harm them.

"Our aim is to clean up that part of the sea for the fishermen and give them easier access to their boats and the sea.

The harbour will be extended into the sea and will be built in an L-shaped design, said Mr Ibrahim.

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Look what they get in exchange for losing a huge chunk of their livelihood! A new harbour!! ::Rolls Eyes:: ....seems like we're getting HARBOUR FEVER here in Bahrain....maybe they just realized what a harbour is and decided.."Hey, lets throw H-aR-B-oooors here, here and here!!"

Relationships and the Modern Arab Woman

Interesting choice of topic no? Well, we all know that the modern Arab woman suffers from a warped mentality. We want to be modern, yet we don't want to let go of traditional values, the values that save us from being cheap...or like any other living breathing female on God's green earth. As you can see, there is already a conflict here in the psyche of the Middle Eastern, more specifically the Gulf Arab female. We all know that dating is socially unacceptable. You, over there, woman in the cloak hiding out upstairs in cinabbon on a wonderfully delightful date, yes, I'm talking to you. So, how does one go about entering the dating scene, and more importantly finding a husband. We'll go through this process step by step, subcategory by subcategory.

1) Finding a Boyfriend:

There are many ways in which the Gulf woman goes about doing this.

a) Online: A very popular choice...through social networking sites, chat rooms etc

b)In Malls: You all know what I'm talking about. The men that walk around and give out their numbers...I've seen some of you take them!

c) Being followed: Yes, there are men desperate enough to follow you until you stop, and take their number, or tell them to fuck off.

d)Family and Friends: My friend knows a friend who knows a mother who knows a friend...yeah...those types ;)

e) Schools, Universities, Offices: the traditional I married my colleague classmate etc.

2) Dating:

Now, the process of dating is one of intricate complexities. There's the virtual chat date. The call date. Then, the physical date. Dinner with fine wines at a posh eatery. Hardy fucking har har...I don't think so. Think seedy little coffee shop in the middle of no where, think upstairs, think private rooms at disgusting diners. Yes, you do feel like a hooker on these dates, but that's the closest we can get to emotional fulfilment when we're constantly worried about what people will think or say about us. In fact this creates a LOT of barriers in relationships. You're boyfriend wants to take you somewhere nice for a date. I think NOT! Wanna go to the movies and cuddle! Yes, that's happening...Maybe at the 11:30 am show of "Flop of Flop" or "Journey of the Flop"! Is it worth it? I guess if that's what you're into...

3) Marriage:

The final step. Oh how much we yearn for it...specially due to the lack of personal freedom we enjoy....a husband means no one can tell you what to do anymore...save for him, if you end up with a jerk. See, there are two types of Gulf girls when it comes to this topic:

a) I designed my Wedding Dress in Primary: This category includes almost 90% of Gulf girls...These are the ones who see marriage and child-rearing as the ultimate goal in life, you know the Arab embodiment of the 50's housewife. When they talk...all you here is "Omigod, when I get married, my wedding ring, my wedding night, my husband, my twins"

b) Escape..Oops, I mean MARRIAGE, yes Marriage...:
The single girl, the confirmed bachelorette Arab style. Enjoys fun with friends and a night on the town much more than a baby bassinet (enter me). Replaces cleaning the kitchen...with cleaning her make up bag. Sleeping with a man with sleeping with a cuddly kitten and raising kids with buying bags and stilettos. She may sound like a superficial creature, but in essence she is the one true DIVA. She may however submit to marrying in exchange for freedom...from parental control...!

c) $$: My bank, I mean HUSBAND, is wonderful...his wallet is beautifullll.....drool :D


So you see its a complex philosophy which entails a complex code of behaviour and special etiquette...see you all at Cinnabon!

Whose Loss?

This is a matter I have wanted to discuss for quite a long time now. The French embassy in Bahrain is an inept disaster area. First of all, let me just be frank. These people do not want us anywhere near their countries; or at least that is what we are to understand from their barbaric and rather uncivilized visa application process. From their behavior, it can be concluded that they aim to make attaining a visa as difficult as it possibly can be in order to limit the number of rag head sand monkeys entering their wonderful and flawless countries. What we should do in response is to make it just as difficult for them to enter ours. Bahrain is too afraid of losing whatever interest people abroad have in this country to make it difficult to enter it. Of course if your from the third world, than its a completely different story...your interest is not nearly as highly valued.

First of all, people beginning to queue for visas at 3 and 4 am is not just illogical, it is cruel and unfair and shows utter disregard for this nation and its people. I’m very sure the French embassy in any other (non-arab/muslim) country would not have the gall to treat its citizens like they have chosen to treat us.

Second of all, I know several people who have gone to that dreaded embassy only to be turned down without a valid reason, or without one at all!!! If you choose to reject one's application, the least they can do is have the decency to give an explanation for this rejection. Otherwise, we are left to assume *as I currently believe* that the basis for these rejections is prejudice. Do the people of Bahrain mean so little that it is not even necessary to give them a reason or explain why you don't want them entering your "wonderful" countries.

Third of all, who is losing in this underhanded battle? The French and their EU counterparts of course. We are all very aware that Arab tourism, if you can call it that, makes up a large part of the income these countries make. Our investments, homes abroad and simply the money spent there on our visits. We are a gold mine to these people...and making it absolutely impossible for us to enter those countries means that they will lose a great deal of income!

I urge my fellow Bahrainis and GCC nationals, please invest your hard earned money in your own nations so that in the near future our countries will be forces to be reckoned with when it comes to tourism and leisure. They need our money far more than we need to spend time in their countries. I hope this will be enough to persuade you to be proud of who you are, if they choose not to accept that, then it is utterly their loss! What do they have that we don’t or can’t have...not much but the weather. So please, I beg of you, stay home this summer...spend your vacations touring neighboring Arab countries. It is clear that they don't want us...so why do we need them. We DONT...none of us do and we never have! So as long as they choose to continue this treatment we have been receiving, I will have no desire to spend a dime in or on their countries. To all those who have properties, what’s the use of owning a home in the EU if you can't get to it or are only allowed to get to it when they feel like giving you a visa. When they have the deciding hand on whether or not you get to spend time in a home that you've paid for. Our government chooses to give them residency permits for as long as they own property here...and what do they give us....rejections without reason or logic...you're better off selling your homes and using that money towards the development of our own countries.

Planning a trip to Kuwait? The Essential Packing List:

Planning a trip to Kuwait? The Essential Packing List:

DARK GLASSES….the number of colors on Kuwaiti men’s outfits and their women’s clothing is BLINDING.

“Oh WOW {Insert hideous Kuwaiti female or male name here} Are you starring in a play? I love the stage make up!”

“Stage make up?? Oh just a bucket of paint and a brush…after all a girl/Kuwaiti man can’t show up at the supermarket or cold store without his/her face on!”

PLAYBOY, PENTHOUSE, FHM

If you’re used to looking at attractive women walking around the malls, I’m sorry to say Kuwait is going to be a huge disappointment. As the country with the highest rate of obesity in the ARAB WORLD, Kuwait’s malls (well, I guess you can call them that, their kind of makeshift malls…you know, the kind of thing an African refugee would mistake for the weekly vaccination tent) are filled with the FATEST women on the planet. What? Hide you’re disgusting figure with baggy clothing? I totally agree…however, Kuwaitis unfortunately have the mindset of creatures from Mars…or the beggar lady who curls up into a ball on my front lawn and purrs whilst asking me to rub her belly. What do you do with you’re gaping layers of fat you ask?? Put them on display of course! with tight form fitting stretch tops with colors that aren’t even part of the rainbow. You see, what the rest of the world calls tacky, the Kuwaitis call Haute Couture chic.

PLAYGIRL

You’re a woman?? Well, don’t get me started on the men! Men? I guess you can call them that although it would be a complete insult to every man on the planet. Let’s just call them male @ birth. Ever wanted to go to a country where every single member of the opposite sex looks like he goes to a salon more often than you do? Neither have I. But if you are weird and do or are just interested in witnessing a freak show, then KUWAIT is the place for you! Every single “man” has his eyebrows done, his nails painted, more foundation than a runway model, some lipstick and his hair straightened. And if that isn’t enough to turn you on, their penises don’t function as they are taped to their asses most of the time. Haven’t you heard? A bulge is not becoming when once chooses to wear the latest Victoria Beckham jeans! Don’t get me wrong! Some Kuwaiti “men” use their penises but usually only for décor…you know to glue rhinestones and beads on them. The most important thing for a Kuwaiti man is his asshole…in Kuwait it’s the male sexual organ. The “men” use strap-ons on each other…with all those rhinestones it would hurt to use a real penis. Don’t you fear!! Their strap-ons are decorated with glitter and are usually pink…so even sex is tacky…oops I mean Haute Couture Chic! Kuwaiti “men” = Italians….my doctor had to give me a sedative with my martini…I COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING…everyone knows Saudi MEN are the most attractive…(and I should know, I’m Bahraini…see them all the time) Of course, if you’re the kinda girl who likes to discuss makeup tips or hair dye with your boyfriends then Kuwaiti “men” win bar none! A date with a picture in you’re magazine is as far as it’ll get for you whilst in Kuwait. A date with a Kuwaiti “man”? Well at least a glossy magazine page is better than a sub-male creature giving you dirty looks if you use the wrong fork for your starter

SCOTH TAPE, NEEDLES AND THREAD

If you’re a heterosexual male…I suggest taping your ass shut…or something more permanent like sewing it shut because Kuwaiti “men” will take any chance and opportunity to put it in you. Don’t drop the soap!

VODKA

Kuwait is the land of the plenty. When it comes to food that is! 99% of their major tourist attractions are restaurants…so when you get bored of eating and/or you manage to become as FAT as a Kuwait there is nothing left to do but sit in your room in one of their crappy hotels and DRINK. Tranquilizers also help to decimate reality and the nightmare that is a visit to Kuwait. I do, however, suggest attending on of the several SEX parties in Kuwait…living in such a shit hole has allowed the citizens to concentrate their time and energy on mastering the art of pleasuring you with their Haute Couture dildos.

GAS MASK

As a stolen extension of Iraq, with the same dialect but shittier people, it is always good to be prepared…the Iraqis may want to reclaim their former territory and throw all the homos and fat hos in the sea…or better yet drown them in their own fat with chlorine gas…so as a visitor…be prepared for the worst!

To Ms./Mr. Meshary Al-Ruwaih of the Kuwait Times (you can never be too sure when it comes to Kuwaitis), thank you for your inspiring crock of shit on Riyadh. Those damn idiots in Riyadh were stupid enough to give you your "flawless" country back. Despite the fact that yours was crap with terrible grammar (more than you can expect from Kuwaiti “schools”) , it inspired this masterful creation of mine. For this, I will be eternally thankful. By the way, with your horrible writing skills it is a wonder yours was officially published. Wait…never mind…it was published in Kuwait….

Gulf Air at Place de la Concorde

Major probe into Gulf Air's books Gulf Daily News

MANAMA: Officials are going through Gulf Air's records with a fine toothcomb, Finance Minister Shaikh Ahmed bin Mohammed Al Khalifa told MPs yesterday. No one in the airline, now solely owned by Bahrain, is above the law, he told parliament.

An article of great interest to many has been published in today's GDN. It is about another problem for the world's most plagued airline. After several years of corruption and stealing, the government, as the airline is now 100% Bahraini and whatnot, have decided to go through Gulf Air's records "with a fine toothcomb" might I add! :*Rolls Eyes*:.... I wonder what they'll find...they'll probably make startling discoveries...you know...the stuff they knew was going on all along...yeah...that....

Indian Children

In the papers this week there have been several reports on the deaths of an Indian brother and sister. There has also been much speculation as to the cause of their deaths. Today, the CID declared that it was, in fact, pesticide poisoning. The strange thing here is that yesterday's papers included a snippet on this stating that the father of the pair JUST realized that his children's deaths could have been linked to the fact that their neighbour had had his apartment sprayed the same day. How....convenient. Now, I, unlike the newspapers, am not pointing any fingers at the parents...just commenting on the very bad timing of the father's realization. In a world where people were more humane, I would think that considering the parents the primes suspects would be handled more tastefully than this. In the paper today, the CID states that they were almost 100% sure of the cause of death in both cases but are still unsure whether it was intentional or not. I'm not siding with expats here, but i believe, had the players in this recent drama been Bahraini there would be a lot less finger pointing. It is my belief that the only motive the couple may have had for poisoning their own children would have been a lack of financial resources with which to support a family. In this case, this does not apply... Why bother having kids, investing in them and loving them if you are going to kill them. Regardless of their true guilt or innocence, I have a strong feeling that both parents will be convicted of premeditated murder.... Good luck to them on their trip through our "justice" system!

F1 is Here!

For those of you who care, the Formula One races begin tomorrow!!!....and the Ministry of Information has prepared for it

From today's GDN:

Information Ministry gears up for F1

MANAMA

THE Information Ministry will put all available resources at the diposal of Formula One organisers to give round-the-clock coverage to fans, said Information Minister Dr Mohammed Abdul Ghaffar.

The Ministry is fully prepared to cover Formula One events that will begin tomorrow, the minister said in a statement to the BNA.

As part of its plan the ministry's foreign media department in co-operation with the PR department has set up a media office at the airport in co-ordination with the Bahrain International Circuit (BIC).

Sounds good to me! Hope it all works out well and goes smoothly. I've only ever attended the F1 once and it was interesting at best!..Different strokes for different folks i guess. Nevertheless, I have always found that "third world countries" always put on the best shows and organize amazing events (ie: Qatar, Dubai, Bahrain, the Philippines etc) because of this need to impress and be accepted amongst the upper ranks. Good on them!

Best of Luck,

Peluqa

For those of you who are interested:

Interactive Bahrain International Circuit Map

Good Luck Mahmood!

Peluqa (The Bitch) would like to wish Mahmood Al-Yousif the best of luck in court on Tuesday, April 17th, 2007! And apparently...not only is he a regular criminal, there are charges of drug use too..|Libel case to be heard in the High Criminal Court!| (yeah I know. lame ;))...

Here's a little tip for you just in case the atmosphere gets too tense and you need a laugh...Imagine the people in court dancing around naked...like in the musical Hair...it helps me when I'm being yelled at by my boss...I imagine him as a big, naked dancing circus ape...trust me works every time!...except for that one time i got fired for trying to force feed him a banana...but whatever! minor glitch...

Best Wishes,

P

For more on Mahmood Al-Yousif:

Mahmood's Den
Mahmood Al-Yousif at Wikipedia


[Update]: The court case and charges have been dropped by the Minister...

I am Wonder Woman!

Your results:

You are Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman 80% Superman 80% Supergirl 75% Catwoman 70% Green Lantern 70% Iron Man 65% Spider-Man 50% Batman 50% Hulk 45% Robin 40% The Flash 35%

You are a beautiful princess with great strength of character.

Kylie Minogue!

For those of you who love Kylie Minogue...well, she's back with a new track. Its called "White Diamond" and you can have a listen at her official site... http://www.kylie.com/

Also, for those of you who heard about M by Madonna at H&M...they are launching a line of beachware in May inspired (but not designed) by Kylie Minogue...

Bahrain Press One of the Freest...

...in the ARAB world...(sorry to burst your bubble)

Ok first and foremost....Geoffrey Bew of the GDN says the following:

THERE were 154 violations of Press
freedom in Bahrain last year, according to an independent study......Kuwait was
top of the list with a Press freedom percentage of 88.38, notching up 58
violations, while Yemen was bottom with a rating of 34.87pc thanks to 325
violations.

-(Study Conducted by Amman Centre for
Human Rights Studies)

http://gulf-daily-news.com/Story.asp?Article=177085&Sn=BNEW&IssueID=30019

Can I just say one thing?....Everything is relative and this "independent study" has not taken population into account. Rating these countries based on violations does not take size into account. A small country like Bahrain, where nothing much goes on really, cannot be compared with Kuwait of Yemen straight off the bat. Not that much is going on in those two places either...its just that they are bigger countries and that should be taken into account. This is like comparing violations by the press in Bahrain and the US. There are several ways to manipulate statistics and this is a rather weak one....

Secondly, I would be elated at this news if Bahrain's press or media was one of substance. When our local leading English news paper {the Gulf Daily New} carries headlines such as "Filipina Fun with Nikoty" it really gets me thinking....don't we have anything more important to report than a group of people who couldn't even make it in the Philippines performing at some whore house...oops I mean Hotel..yes, that's it....the sad truth...probably not...Not only is it reported...its a headline...I mean seriously, maybe the GDN should just change its name to What's On In Bahrain {For Indians and Filipinos} The "media" in Bahrain is laughable...so before we celebrate the great freedom enjoyed by the press...(disregarding the fact that several foreign sites have been blocked [now possibly unblocked]) lets establish an actual media first....

Nuns vs. Hijabis

Well, I am sure that many are aware of this world-important "raging debate"...*rolls eyes*. I had an argument with a friend a few days ago and would just like to put this to the public. Most people who are pro-hijab (I'm not one of these although I have nothing against Hijabis) equate wearing a hijab in day to day life with christian women becoming nuns. Apart from the fact that becoming a nun takes absolute HELL to begin with....a nun is not as much a part of society as a hijabi. What we today call nuns are not actually nuns. They are called nuns but are actually of a new order founded in the 18th century...rather than dedicating their life to prayer and seclusion, they dedicate their lives to worship and to societal good. They are allowed to leave monastery to work to achieve good amongst the societies from which they hail. Now, a Hijabi, on the other hand, is just a regular woman. Married maybe...with kids...maybe single who really cares...my point is that there is no routine to be followed...no rules and no seclusion. Personal morals and standards of dress and conduct are all that they have to worry about when becoming a hijabi. Other than the process of becoming a Nun, the most important distinction between the two is exposure. People argue that the west should not criticize hijabis and claim that it is unfair that hijabis are condemned and considered to be oppressed while Nuns, who dedicate themselves to God and cover pretty much the same body parts are celebrated and praised as pious and God-fearing people. Well, the only problem is that it is easy to praise or pass judgement on something you don't have to deal with...its just like calling a painting behind glass beautiful. We have nothing to do with the painting and we aren't exposed to it unless we choose to be. The same goes for Nuns. I think I can count the number of times I've seen a nun on one hand....Hijabis on the other hand, I see every day. Therefore, although I do not believe Hijabis are oppressed (unless they are forced to cover by their families etc), I believe that people criticize them because they see them all the time and do not understand the true meaning of covering up. I don't believe that it is truly part of my religion and think it is more of a custom. It was picked up from the Greeks to begin with. Greek women from the upper class would cover to create a distinction between themselves and "slave girls"....therefore, I really think its more of a social barrier than a sign of piety. If every other catholic women could dress like a nun and lead as normal a life as a hijabi (i.e. work, live, marry, have children) I would say that the west do not have the right to misconceive hijabis...but I think the image of an oppressed Muslim woman and the ill-treatment of Muslim women are just two of the many stereotypes held about us in the west.....Am I making sense?

The Execution...

As I am currently on vacation...it has taken quite a bit of time to actually see the full footage of Saddam's execution...I don't know that i have any strong feelings on the matter. I did not support what he stood for or agree with his methods, nor did I like him. Until the invasion of Iraq, I actually hated him for what he had done to Kuwait. Although he deserved to be punished, I do not believe in the death penalty and believe violence does not quell violence, thus we have gained nothing via this execution. I have always believed that the people of Iraq are some of the cruellest in the Arab world, therefore, a dictator like Saddam may have been the only one who was able to control them. Nevertheless, what's done is done and all I have to say is that the only emotion evoked was pity for someone who has become so small and worthless.